Fatherhood, Natural and Assumed

Regardless of whether it has gone out of fashion in today’s society, deep in the heart of every man is a desire to protect his loved ones. To make sure that they feel safe when you’re around, like the calming presence of a strong lion protecting the rest of the pride. Though I’m sure that this instinct is there with boys as well, the strong conviction I have to protect my daughter is greater than nearly anything I’ve felt in my life. It isn’t a feeling that has to be worked up, it’s just there, like cement, daring someone to move it.

schaefer

I found this quote today and immediately knew the author's heart. He's correct that the instinct to protect is also present with boys, however it is different. The instinct to protect your son is usually tempered by a desire for him to learn and adapt. What I mean is that you want to keep your son safe enough. With daughters, fathers are much more willing to explain what could have happened in complete safety, rather than letting them actually fall and then rescue them.

What I find even more amazing though is that the instinct to protect a daughter is not at all biological. My daughters are not mine biologically. But I know of no possible way that my desire to protect them could be any more absolute. And as the quote says... There was no learning curve to ramp up... One day my oldest called me daddy and the desire to protect fell like a ton of bricks.

10 Things I Love: Relaxation Edition

10.The way a hardback book feels in your hand.

9. Watching my wife and daughter get ready in our single 10 square foot bathroom. (Oddly it doesn't seem to relax them the same way.)

8. Schmoozing with George. George is the owner of my favorite restaurant, he's 30 years my senior, Italian, and amazing. English is, I believe, his 12th language. There's nothing quite like listening to an Italian yell in German at an American football game that's on a Japanese TV.

7. Earl Grey tea.

6. My pipe. Especially with Sherlock tobacco. An unfinished Savinelli that my wife gave me. Just holding it relaxes me. Much to my youngest daughter's amusement, I have a tendency to carry it wherever I go even though I rarely smoke away from home.

5. The weight of my dog's chin on my knee when she needs her ears scratched. We have 5 dogs... That makes me tired just typing it... But Bella is the queen. Full Blood Boxer goodness and the sweetest dog to ever live.

4. A snifter of after work scotch. Especially Glennfiddich. You remember the old Calgon commercials? That's what my 5:07pm cocktail does for me. I stand in the living room, still in my suit, wafting the bouquet of my ambrosia while 5 dogs explain in full synchronized expressive dance how they missed our family all day, my wife and daughter prepare for whatever their evening's mischief will be, and my wife tells me about her day... not in rapid succession but at the exact same time. A guy with ADD has to have chemical assistance or the scene would make me pass out from sheer number of stimuli.

3. Working in the garden.When you work with technology and people who don't know how to right click all day... Dirt is very calming.

2. Enjoying the dinner my wife prepared with friends. The equation is simple. The event can never be announced before 5:45pm on the same night of the event. I will be sent to the local market for any necessities while C cooks. At least two visitors will arrive. There will be much wine, more talk, and my wife perfecting the whole gala in her amazing grace.

1. The 10 minutes of whispering with my wife in bed before I fall asleep each night.

Awkward Family Photos

awkwardfamilyphotos.com

And I thought my flared corduroy pants were difficult to explain.

Of Note...

This month's British GQ brings us:

• A humorous op-ed piece called The bonfire of the pieties by Dylan Jones.
• For most of us, an introduction to indie rocker Natasha Khan.
• Several solid fashion pictorials.
• And a nice synopsis of James Gandolfini's lastest project.

Its worth mentioning that I did not find the piece on January Jones particularly mesmerizing but it accomplished its purpose.... which was to justify the cover photo. However I will point out that this is an excellent example of what makes the British edition of the magazine much more interesting to me. Their cover ... however sexually motivated is of a 31 year old actress who can actually act and is known more for her beauty and talent than her nightlife escapades. Last month they had an interview with Eva Green. The Americans have had Lindsay Lohan twice in as many years, Megan Fox and J. Aniston. And while the latter is older and a capable actress, her placement on the cover was completely based on tormenting her ex-husband. Note to the editors: Leave the faces of the moment to Maxim and show us the characters that are actually interesting.

A good example of why life should imitate art and not vice versa

This video reminds me of the first week of knowing the woman that would become my wife... And it reminds me that I still feel like this.