Thursday, February 15, 2007

10 Things you should already be doing. Part 2

  1. Pocket a lighter. Regardless of the fact that they shouldn't and that the state of California has made it illegal, most of the young single women I know smoke. They may only smoke at the bar, while drinking, or in that little black dress but.... Nothing is more straight out of a film noir sexy than lighting a woman's cigarette without being asked. Bonus points if you don't smoke.
  2. Upgrade the vino. The days of Budweiser are over, my boy. Why are you still drinking the same stuff that you used to drink because it was all you could afford or get your hands on? Every man should have one drink he can order neat or on the rocks, a wine preference that does not have "Boone's" or "chillable" in the title, and a beer that can't be purchased at a convientent store in a thirty pack. Drink a little less, and a whole lot better.
  3. Get a flashlight. Put it in your car. No... really.
  4. Read. One book and one magazine a month. Anything about sports doesn't count.
  5. Comment on my blog. The next person that tells me they think I'm funny when I write but hasn't posted has to buy me a Glennfiddich neat.

8 comments:

Rob said...

2. Upgrade the vino.
I agree drink less, but better. Was this perhaps aimed at a fellow member of the Monday Night Symposium?

Jay said...

While I disagreed with the tie comment in Part 1 (I happen to think my Windsor is perfectly fine for everything I wear a tie for.), Part 2 is spot on, ol' chap.

Thankfully I don't consume Boone's or MD 20/20, and drinking the quaffable potables of the common-man is not an activity I do often either. Guinness, Harp, Sing Tao, Sapporro Dark, perhaps a Stella Artois will fill my beer needs just fine. And I am ashamed to admit that my wine knowledge is more than lacking. But I do know my Gew├╝rztraminers from my Rieslings, which puts me at a slight advantage to MGD drinkers.
Flashlight? 4-Cell or Corded Light Cannon? Magazines and Book? Popular Science and Dumas this month. Lighter? Like you have to ask.

Comment on your blog? Hmm... someday. :-)

randij said...

Sinatra...very, very Sinatra.

Michael said...

I must disagree with you Jay... while your alcoholic beverage knowledge is exceptional, you sir should own and wear a real bow tie. It would work with your general demeanor and build exceptionally.

RedRyder said...

I went all out one night and had the waiter bring me a glass of the finest wine.. It was a special night for me and my girl.. But is was a waist as it tasted something like a bitter fruit that took the moisture right out of my tongue. Tequila all the way.. And the lighter thing.. Right on.. Great blog..

Jay said...

With a bowtie I would either look like a I swallowed Tucker Carlson or I was trying to emulate Fatty Arbuckle.
Although, this might give me a reason to start wearing a bowler hat. And I've been wanting to wear one for an age and a half.
The Amercan Oddjob. Whahaha!!

"Do you expect me to talk Rustyfinger?"
"No Meestah Bond, Fatjob will finish you off!"

Rob said...

A pint of Guinness and a tie-burning sounds like a blast.

Deanna said...

My husband doesn't smoke (neither do I) but bought a beautiful zippo lighter to carry with him. You never know when a power ballad will break out.