Things my ex-girlfriends taught me.

1. All of your clothes are too big.
2. She's dirtier (read more sexually adventurous) than you are... no really.
3. Tell anyone about the previous statement and you will never benefit from its truthfulness again.
4. When life gets tough first... shut up... second... hold her. Repeat until the tears stop.
5. Similarities between she and her mother should be noticed but never discussed.
6. The fact that the rules change every day when she wakes up pisses her off just as much as it does you.
7. Always take a jacket to the movie theater... always.
8. At special events coordinate with what she's wearing... because basically... you're a purse.
9. Always compliment her shoes.
10. Winning the battle usually costs you the war.


Someday soon I'm going to follow up this post with a list of all the things my wife has taught me... Right now I'm on number 457.