Wednesday, February 14, 2007

10 Things you should already be doing. Part 1

  1. Wear a good watch. Men's accessories are too minimal to leave out the best one. It should be solid without being flashy. Its metal color should never clash with your ring, cuff links, or belt buckle. Reason? Anything that minimizes the number of times you look at your Blackberry a day needs no other justification, but for the stubborn... Ask any girl about the scene in the Bourne Identity where Damon washes Potente's hair and between the sighs she'll mention his watch. I don't know why... and really... who cares?
  2. Carry a handkerchief. No, it isn't gross. No, it isn't weird. You don't carry it for general use and you don't wipe your nose on it when you're standing next to a box of Kleenex. The handkerchief is meant for the moment, it is the hero of the unexpected. It can be a bandage for my little boy's knee, wipe the tears of a friend, and save a beautiful woman's dress from her lunch without even breaking a sweat. (obviously with the appropriate washing practices in between uses.) Not only that but it can upgrade your suit in a moment... yes that pocket on the front of your jacket has a purpose... use it. (P.S. Ladies. When offered a handkerchief you should never return it until washed if you find the man interesting. It is the original "What's your number?".
  3. Use wet wipes in the bathroom. Skid marks are so third grade.
  4. Enjoy a well tied tie. By this point you should know more than one knot. No you don't need to wear a tie to be a grown up, but the guy in the cube next to you isn't complaining about his now is he? While you don't need a tie to be a grown up (and since when was being a grown up the goal?), you do need it to be a well groomed gentleman.
  5. Go well heeled. Tennis shoes are for tennis, jogging shoes are for jogging,..... are you seeing a pattern?

5 comments:

Unknown said...

4.Enjoy a well tied tie.

I wholly disagree with the tie being a necessity to be a gentleman. Being a gentleman is action not appearance. I could put Zach in a suit and he'd no more be a gentleman that Rusty a womanizer.

Pastoral Urbanite said...

Ahh... but I said it was a necessity of being a well groomed gentlemen. And Rusty is a womanizer, he just hasn't realized it yet!

Angela Faulkner said...

do you mean well-heeled? and if so, did you know the terminology originated from cock-fighting? something to do with the fake spurs animals (i'm speaking of men here) put on the roosters and such...i'm pretty sure at least....and i think your posts are kinda funny. so no free drinks from this girl

Pastoral Urbanite said...

Good catch... edited.

Unknown said...

I agree with redryder. Highly illogical.